Alzheimer's Disease

Alzheimer's

We started out calling Carol's constant misplacing and losing things “Forgetfulness,” or the then humorous, CRS (Can't Remember Shit!) or CRAFT (Can't Remember A Frigging Thing!) As it got worse, we got serious and called it “Short Term Memory Loss.”

A trip to a Corvallis neurologist resulted in a diagnosis of “Progressive memory loss and Dementia” and a recommendation to the DMV to revoke her driver's license. (Which they did.)

For a few years we coasted along, hoping that the symptoms wouldn't get any worse, but there was always that Gorilla hiding in the shadows called Alzheimer's Disease. It wasn't so bad, going on treasure hunts every day looking for things that Carol lost or misplaced. I had a checklist of likely places to look, no matter what we were looking for: Refrigerator, freezer, microwave, couch cushions, under her pillow, trash cans, it was almost a game.

Then the Gorilla came out and punched me right in the heart.

It was a normal evening. We'd had our once a month lunch at the Salty Dawg and we were at home watching TV when Carol looked at me and said, “Who are you? I don't remember you!”

At first I thought she was kidding but when I saw the look on her face, I knew.

I knew.

“What do you do?” she asked.

“I, I'm retired.” I stammered, at a loss for words.

“Huh, so is Bob,” she said.

“I'm Bob!” I answered, “We've been married for 52 years!”

I'll never forget the blank look on her face when she looked at me.

I was a stranger.