Kayaking with Parkinson's

I took the dogs out for their morning constitutional and instead of the usual rain, the moon was shining through wispy clouds. It looked like it was going to be a decent day, so I decided to get off my butt and drag my kayak over to the lake.

I've been making excuses for not kayaking for quite a while now; it's too windy, it's too rainy, I've got too much to do, etc., but I really need the exercise. Going for a walk every day has helped keep my legs in shape, but my upper body strength is fading away.

When I got to the lake, I removed the little lawn mower-wheeled cart off of the boat, tucked it in behind the seat and slid the kayak down the grassy bank to the shoreline. The lake was smooth and glassy with fog rising off the water. Just the way I like it!

There's a feeling that I never tire of, gliding out onto the water and quietly paddling, trying not to disturb the silence. For me it's a time for peaceful meditation. My mind clears and my arms and hands work the paddle on their own; I don't even have to think about it.

I got out to the middle of the lake before my meditation was interrupted by my once dependable arms and hands telling me that they were getting tired! I stopped and drifted for a while, resting. When I started paddling again I could feel the tremors in my left hand getting worse, and in a few minutes I had to stop again.

I slowly worked my way to the south end of the lake and into the little stream that feeds it. Paddling against the current was a chore, but I made it to the inlet where a culvert lets a road cross and I stopped for a long rest.

Letting the streams current do most of the work on the way back out onto the lake, all I had to do was keep the little boat between the banks, but when I got back to the open water a slight head wind had started up. I knew that I had my work cut out for me getting back to the put-in.

The tremors had spread to both of my arms and hands and it was difficult to keep a good grip on the paddle. With every stroke my arms had a cogwheel, ratchet feel to them. I was really tired and the boat dock where I usually get out looked like it wasn't getting any closer.

After what seemed like an eternity, I made it to the dock and slid in on the leeward side. Normally I can put my hands on the dock and roll up and out of the kayak, but I was almost too weak to do it. Somehow I managed to squirm up onto the dock without falling in or overturning my kayak.

I pulled the boat out, put the wheels on, and trudged back to the house. When I went to the kitchen sink to get a drink of water, my tremors were so bad I couldn't get the glass to my mouth, even when I tried using both hands.

Next time I'll take it a little easier!

Venting

Parkinson's Lament

I feel more than a little guilty about complaining, since so many other people with Parkinson's have symptoms that are much more advanced and serious than mine. I consider myself fortunate that my symptoms are still mild, but every now and then, like everyone, I need to vent a little bit.

I guess the symptom that I hate the most is my deteriorating manual dexterity. I used to be proud of my ability to work with my hands and I enjoyed putzing around in my workshop, sawing, sanding, soldering, welding, and building various projects. Now the shop is littered with unfinished undertakings left behind in frustration.

The medicine (Dopamine) that I take to reduce the tremors, works most of the time, but sometimes I feel like I have two left hands. Eating in public is embarrassing, a knife and fork just won't work for me the way they used to. It almost feels like I've never used them before, and sometimes I think I could do just as well with chopsticks. Inevitably the morsel of food that I've struggled so hard to get on the tip of my fork will shake off just as I bring it up to my open mouth, and the more frustrated and stressed I get, the more the tremors increase.

The second most irritating symptom for me is the gradual weakening of my voice. If I haven't spoken for a while and try to answer the phone, about all I can get out is a garbled croak. It usually takes a couple of tries before I can say a clear “Hello?” Other times it's difficult to speak loud enough to be heard, especially if there's any background noise.

Thirdly, I really miss my sense of smell. I remember what the Northwest rain smelled like early in the morning; “Green ice, silence and minnow breath,” as Tom Robbins wrote. The odors of Lilacs, fresh coffee, newly mowed grass and puppy breath are just memories now.

My upper body strength is poor, especially the grip in my hands. The weather's been too crappy to do much kayaking, which would help. Walking keeps my leg strength up and I squeeze rubber exercise balls while I walk, (Carol likes to remind me to keep squeezing my balls while we're walking,) but so far it hasn't helped much. (My grip that is.)

Memory lapses are getting more frequent, I even forgot how to tie my shoe the other day. Mostly it's just temporary though, a missing word or name will eventually come back, sometimes in the middle of the night. My other symptoms; dizziness, loss of balance, difficulty swallowing, are all mild.

I'm going to resist everything this disease throws at me and I plan on keeping my sense of humor while I'm doing it.

Look for the Silver Lining

Over the years I've found that it's always best to find the silver lining, and to see the glass as half full.

Being afflicted with Parkinson's Disease makes it a little more difficult to retain an optimistic attitude, but there are a few positive things that I've noticed since my symptoms began.

Our little dog, Taz has figured out that when he lays on his back beside me on the easy chair or couch, he'll get twice the action and petting because of my left hand tremors than from my still steady right hand; so he always squirms in on my left side.

Our Sonic toothbrush died the other day, but I've found that between brushing with my left hand and my jaw tremors, I can almost equal sonic vibrations.

If I'm standing in a dark room and turn out the lights or close my eyes, I'd better be hanging on to something, because I'm about to take a trip and not leave the farm. Dizzying, but kind of fun!

Most importantly though, now I can blame P.D. for just about anything; whether it's something I forgot, (an anniversary or birthday,) or something that I completely messed up, (broken dishes, tracked up carpet, dented fender!)

It's nice to have a universal excuse!

Tremors

Well, after an initial exam by the family doctor, a blood test and an MRI, I was sent to a neurologist in Corvallis. He confirmed what I have suspected for quite some time now, and diagnosed me with Parkinson's Disease. My symptoms aren't bad yet, so he prescribed Selegeline to reduce the tremors in my left hand.

It's an incurable disease but they have medicine that can keep the symptoms under control. I don't plan on it interfering with my fishing, kayaking or writing so I don't see any big changes in the near future.